I have so many positive people in my life right now that I am so thankful for. I’m glad I got rid of the negative because I don’t need people tearing me down anymore than I already do to myself.
Every time I’m bored and want to do something I text people in order of who I would most want to hang out with to least. The people I want to spend time with the most always seem to have other plans though and I get stuck with someone who I have nothing to talk about with. Ugh.
Everything in my life is falling apart. My education, my job, my friendships, everything. I can’t take it anymore.
Home is where you feel respected and loved and appreciated. The little things you forget to pick up or do being signs of life. Not being reprimanded for the mistakes you make, but accepted and understood. I have never felt at home. Almost twenty years old and I have never felt accepted. I have never felt as though I am wanted around and appreciated. I do not feel loved, I do not feel understood. I feel like a burden. I move around from place to place and from person to person and I fear I will never feel at home.
I feel like I never even knew you. I’m so happy to say that. It’s like I can erase you from my memories because none of it actually felt real. You offered me nothing remotely real, there was no emotion from your end and the emotion I created was my wanting to feel something so bad. I hope to never encounter anything with you again.
I have realized in the past few months that I seriously need to change things in my life, and last night it hit me harder than ever. I need to strengthen myself mentally, emotionally, and physically. Which means no more smoking weed, eating shitty food, being lazy, feeling bad for myself, or being hung-up on loser guys who aren’t any better than me. I promise you by the end of this summer I will have made a lot of changes. I need to be proud of and happy about myself and I will find a way to do so. If ya ain’t with me then see ya never~~* ✌
I wanna lay in bed and watch movies with you. Talk and laugh and sleep and learn all sorts of things about you.
I don’t care what you think about me. My body, my hair color, my tattoos, my personality, my negativity, my lack of makeup, my excess of makeup, the color I paint my nails, the clothes I wear, the music I listen to, my major in college, my life goals, the breed of dog I have, my morals, the people I choose to sleep with, the people I chose to sleep with. Because none of it is yours, it is mine. And I don’t give a fuck about you or your opinions or your judgements of me.
