I really miss having friends that I had things in common with. I used to love baking and going to shows and taking pictures, but I don’t do much of that anymore and I feel it’s because I have no one to do any of those things with. Sometimes all I want to do is go for a hike and take some nice photos, or go stand in the back of a hardcore show and feel numb to anything other than the music playing. I miss when life had meaning and I had great friends who understood me. I feel like my life has no depth and it’s really getting to me. I don’t like most of my friends, and it’s nothing personal, it’s just the lack of spontaneity and meaning in my relationships with them. I want to do more than sit by a camp fire while everyone gets hammered, or go out to eat. I want my life to feel like something once again.
A lot of days are empty. But some are full. Way too full. And my thoughts are too scattered, and they leak to my tongue. But my tongue doesn't want to let them go to the air, so they glide further down, to my fingertips. And they pour onto the keyboard and etch out what I am feeling. And then I don't feel so full anymore.
19. Upstate, NY. Business Major. Baking and Bitching Since '93.